Detangling the Web
As we begin waking up to the life that is waiting for us, we realize that all aspects of our lives need to be examined. We are all powerful co-creators of life if we choose to be. But how do we become one? Well, it takes fierce commitment and small steps everyday to be better, to love, to forgive, to ask for help, and to honor ourselves where we are right now on our journey.
In order to become powerful co-creators with life we need to become investigators of our inner workings. I think it is safe to say that for the majority of us, our minds seem to take front seat and call the shots. However, life really starts to flow when we have mind, body and spirit in a beautiful balance to support our true essence.
Our minds are complex and are the cause for most, if not all, of our suffering. It is crucial to become aware of the thoughts we are feeding ourselves with at all times. Overtime, through practice and meditation we build a space where we realize that we are the witness of our thoughts. We begin to see the freedom in not having to believe everything we are thinking. This concept is so important because it allows us to choose life-supporting thoughts.
Once we become aware of our thoughts, we can begin to train our minds to choose love over fear. It can be very uncomfortable to witness all of our negative thoughts and we can easily get caught in the web of the mind. However, if we keep feeding ourselves with life affirming thoughts (both internally and externally through books, blogs, workshops) we will begin to see a shift in how we see things. One of the reasons we experience suffering is because of the dirty internal lens we are seeing life through.
We need to clean our lens so that we can see clearly and understand through compassion. For example, two people can experience the same difficult situation, such as being laid off from work, but have two completely different responses. One person may see things through the lens of fear or “lack” such as why does this always happen to me, I am never going to be able to find a job, etc. Whereas another person may see this situation through the lens of love- although this is difficult, I will use this as an opportunity to grow, a better job awaits me. The latter will create a much more open and loving perspective and can manifest their desired outcome.
When our thoughts are stuck in blame, comparison, jealousy, or victimhood, we are seeing through a lens of fear. We need to be very aware of these thoughts and be willing to see them through the lens of love. We create our reality. Our fear based thinking will only create more fear. When we can train our minds to see through the lens of love and compassion, life will bring more love and peace to us. Give it a try.
Just today I had an encounter in which I was faced with a choice. My child was very angry and was yelling. My first reaction was to blame and become the victim. “What is wrong with my child? Why does this always happen? When will they learn?” However, I have developed a strong inner witness and I can detect fear more easily than I could previously. I know that I always have a choice- to see this particular situation through fear or love. I felt my anger (acknowledging and owning our feelings is very important) and then choose love because love wins every time.
Believe me, I have chosen fear many times before, but once we start choosing love, fear looses its enticement. I chose to see my child’s angry outburst as a call for help. I choose to see my child as innocent and pure, needing guidance on how to contain strong emotion. Because of this, I was able to connect, listen, understand and empathize with the feeling of being so angry and not knowing how to contain myself. I showed up with love for my child and I received that love right back. The episode ended with a hug and two full hearts.
The web of our thoughts can be very difficult to navigate. The first step is trusting that we are not our thoughts. Then we can begin to examine our thinking and seeing the ways in which we are creating our circumstances, good or bad. Next it is choosing thoughts that are life affirming and based in love. We always have the choice to course correct when we have gone off path. Even if we don’t necessarily feel love in the moment, we can be willing to see things through a lens of love and that will be enough.
Over time we can experience how training our minds to see the good in all things (even the difficult) changes the whole way we perceive life and everything in it. We begin to see challenges as lessons rather than obstacles, anger as a call for love and understanding, and sadness as a pathway to mend our hearts.
“Your task is not to seek love, but to find all the barriers within you that you have built against it” ~ Rumi
Changing our patterns of thinking and training our mind toward love is a powerful way to start removing the barriers we have built.