The Simplest Answer That is Life Changing
We are continually being pulled in a million different directions throughout our day. Whether it is through the demands of our job, school, family, friends or media, we can feel stretched so thin that we are about to snap. Often times, we do snap because we are frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. This is because we most likely do not have clear boundaries. The way to take our power back is to simply say NO. Say no to all the things that are not aligned with your highest desires. If you have decided to make yourself a priority, it is time to set boundaries. This is a game-changing step.
I am a people pleaser. I know many of you can relate, particularly women. I enjoy helping others and making others happy. For the longest time, I put everyone else’s well being before my own. I never wanted to disappoint anyone, yet I disappointed myself continually by committing to things that I didn’t necessarily want to do. The truth is no one can truly help another unless we know how to help ourselves. When we feel whole, we can wholeheartedly help others. When we respect ourselves, others in turn will respect us even when we say NO to their requests.
NO is a simple answer and requires no explanation. In order to set boundaries, we need to establish what our intentions are. Begin by finding a quiet space and asking yourself what it is that you truly desire and then listen with an open heart. Our authentic self always knows exactly what we need. Write down what you heard and felt. Just a clue — our deepest desires are never material things.
For example, some of my desires include self-care practice to continually strengthen my inner connection (including proper sleep and diet), spending quality time with my children and my husband. Once I have made my intentions conscious, I choose to act accordingly. I am safe to say NO to requests/demands that aren’t supportive of my desires and I can feel confident saying YES to things that are supportive. In fact, there is more energy and space to focus my attention in the direction of my desires to co-create.
At first, saying NO was quite uncomfortable. However, overtime, it has been so powerful and a true act of self-love.
It is vital to become familiar with our bodies’ cues. Our physical body stores all of our memories and emotions. It is the portal through which we can access our deeper wisdom. Being present in our bodies allows us to attune to the signals we are constantly receiving. So when we are stretched too thin, we can feel it in our bodies. Perhaps we may feel tension/tightness in our shoulders and neck.
We need to become familiar with our signals and honor them. If you don’t want to take on that new intense project at work, your body will let you know. As we dive deeper within ourselves, we will become familiar with our internal signals and it is our duty to listen and act accordingly.
So try it out today. Start setting boundaries that honor your true self. Say NO and feel the love when you support yourself. If you too are a people pleaser, just be aware of this pattern and make conscious choices to honor yourself first so that you can in turn truly be able to honor and help another from a place of authenticity and connection.